God s presence becomes so real to me!

Two days ago, on the tuesday, i stayed home for the whole day. The 118 shop computer not working and i could not do any work. I have workers' annual tax to study on how to submit.

Somehow my dropbox was messed up by me and i could not really understand the tax submission procedures. I was frustrating and get angry with myself for being so stupid and slow in understanding. I was really wondering why i could not understand things at a faster speed like others. Well, i am just not like them. So this is me! The inability to do my job well made me mentally disturbed. I did not want to rely on J for small and big things. I really wish i can do things without have to call him to have the confidence to carry out the task.  He is just too poor thing to have to listen to me nagging abt my unhapiness towards the job and had him settle for me for anything i had not done well.

Well, at night after dinner, i was feeling hopeless and depressed. The world seemed coming to an end for me. I can imgine how can i be happy for the rest of my life. However, i remembered God had not forsaken me before. I felt a raising faith from my heart to believe Him even in darkest moment.

Yesterday, i went to GMB meeting. When steve on the song, this is the air i breath, i began to feel the hunger for His presence and i felt God in the room. I began to cry and the fire of God burnt in my diaphram. I felt the contraction and pain. I know God is cleansing me and purifying me with His fire.

I cired, laughed and cried to the Heavenly Father as i felt that i was not loved by my own earthly Father. Then i heard God saying that He is the one created me and i belonged to Him. My earthly Father is just somebody that God put Him as my father. However, i know that i supposed to love him still. God desires me to forgave and honour my earthly father. But i should know that my Heavnly Father loves me more and that He is the one truely loves me deeply. He sent His one and only son to die on the cross for me. Thank you my heavenly Father for the revelation. This revelation woke me up from my sorrow. Of course, when i cried, i laughed again, the laughter was from God the healing stream of joy.

I sat up on my chair as i felt better. After awhile, i began to cry again as i saw my own earthly Fatehr's face and reminded that he did not want to buy me presence of gold for my marriage. Then God told me that :"you will see how i am gonna bless you"  "since your earthly father is not gonna bless you" I began to laugh as i heard that. A gush of joy ran into my heart. I was happy and felt the peace and love from my heavenly Father.

From there on i stayed in the presence of God and at one time i think God is speaking about the wind of the Holy Spirit. As i see ACTS in my mind and felt that the Holy Spirit, a current run through my mind and body. I know that is from God as i experience that before.

Well, maybe the wind of God is coming like the acts. What we are experiecing at GMB meeting is really kidergarden level. There are primary, secndary, jc and uni level. God show us more.

Well, on the tuesday God spoke to me through the mp3 bible i had downloaded free from internet. It is about the story of the blind man who called out to Jesus" Jesus, son of David, have mercy on me." Jesus heard him and asked him, " what do you want from me?" He gave an exact answer. Well, many of the times God wants us to be clear with what we exactly want and asked for it. For me, i would like to ask that J and i love God wiht all our heart, mind, soul and all our strenghth." and well now i would said that i can blessed many many ppl and gave glory unto Him.

Another story God spoke to me to encourage me is when Jesus was sleeping and the wond started to roar at sea. The disciples began to afraid and woke up JESUS. Jesus asked why are they so faithless. Immediately i felt God is encouraging me to believe Him although the situation at work place seemed like the roaring wind of the sea but as i trust in Him, the wind will ceased.

The Holy Trinity

Today, amazingly God spoke on the topic of the Holy Trinity through Pastor Steve. This question i raised on the Friday meeting at dote's house. However, i have no idea after me or before me another three person also raised such a question.

So it is obvious that God wants to reveal Himself through this topic.

The Holy Trinity, Godhead, is the Father, Son and the Holy Spirit.

We focus mainly on the Father today. There are seven points about Him.

1.Holiness (Matt 5: 47-48), if we wanna be holy we must identify ourself with the Father.

2. Grace (Matt 5:13-16)

3. Provisions (Matt 6: 25-27)

4. Knowledge (Matt 6:31-33)

5. Destiny (Matt 15:12-13)

6.Judgement (Matt 18:34-35)

7. He is the source of the Holy Spirit (Luke 11:12-13)

When we go to the Father like a child with our emotions, He comes quickly to attend to us becaue He is a loving Father and He cares so much for us that when we are hurt and cried out to Him, He comes so fast to love us and assure us.

God knows every hair on our head. Even when one of our hair fall, he knows which the number to that hair. He is just so powerful that He counts our hair. When we have problems or difficulties, He knows them too and every situation. We just need to focus on Him, pray and trust that He has a will for everything. He will help us:)

Thank you my Father in heaven for the breakthrough tonight. Treasure the presence of God. Be in Him 24 hours a day. Let not other things easily distract us.

Jesus answered my prayer by waking me up!

For the 1st time i can wake up so early at 06:55am.

Last night i decided to not set my alarm as it actually made me went back to sleep after it rang instead. Paul always shared with us how God woke me up. I had not really experience sth dramatic but sudden woking up only. So i prayed and wanted God to do a miracle to woke me up with a condition that this doing will really wake me up.

Early in the morning, i heard my mum calling out "xueping, xueping" but there ws no respnds. Then she called my mum, i answered her. She asked me to open the door for her for she had locked herself outside and forgot her key. She could not cycle to work.

I get up and open the door for her. Asking her to tell me where she place her key so that i can just bring her the key and she need not come in. But she do not know where she placed it. While i walked towards my room and intended to go back to sleep again as the sky is not bright day yet. I wonder what time is it. I went back my room and looked at my hp and it is 6:55am. I thought to myself that it is still early, i can go back to sleep.

It is at this moment that a voice came out of my heart. And He said:" Didn't you ask for God to wake you up at a time He wants?"

Then i was fully waken upon hearing this. My heart was excited as God really answered my prayer and my mum's loud voice of calling out is 90% effective to made me awake and with the voice to remind me of what i prayed, i am now sitting on the chair and writing this testimony to God.

Well, now it is up to me to decide if i will obey God to be awake at this hour or to satisfy my flesh desire to go back and sleep again.

God i choose to be awake and do your will today. I believe that you wake me up at this hosur for a reason as i allowed you to decide for me.

Taiwan Trip (22nd to 27th Feb'11)

My conclusion is i should not go overseas with anyone else but J unless the Lord gives me breakthrough. Otherwise even the mission trip i should not consider.